When my wife died in July of 2015, the kind and excellent people of Granite Mountain Hospice here in Prescott offered a small group of us the opportunity to share our grief and our stories about our recently deceased loved ones with each other under the guidance of two fine women from that Hospice, Anita and Kelly. Kelly had herself lost her mother that year and was both a leader and participant. Our group continued to meet together after the conclusion of the formal hospice leadership (and was still meeting in November 2018, as I write) and Kelly was able sometimes to join us.
That Thanksgiving, she wrote us the note below, and I prepared the material below this with the group. The terrible attacks in Paris had occurred only about ten days earlier.
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As Kelly said so well this Thanksgiving morning by email —
I woke up this morning with mixed emotions because this is the first "real" Thanksgiving without Mom. Yet I feel blessed that my dad is doing so well and that we have a small group of family, friends and neighbors who will be joining us today to celebrate the many things we do have to be thankful for this year. I imagine you may be feeling some of the same emotions I am.
When we raise a glass today and toast my mom, I will be thinking of all of you and the stories you shared about your dear loved ones. My Thanksgiving wish for you is that you find joy and laughter in the remembering today, along with the inevitable moments of missing them so deeply.
It’s true that there is strength and hope in simple things like sharing a meal with friends and family. Just after the Paris attacks, a father and his very young son appeared in a French TV interview that made it on to YouTube quickly. The father reassures the son by pointing out the flowers and the candles people have brought. The boy is reassured, and I am too. I thought I’d share it for today and for all the days. It’s so lovely, and true.
